Now that Rich and co. have scored a big excavation project by the Provo Airport (Hinckley Mounds, here we come!), Uncle OPA is back on top.
It's a good thing, because I heard that during the lean times he had been sleeping out under the old wheelbarrows between Allen Hall and the Elms.
Anyone else heard anything about our good pal?
12 comments:
Now that we've got this project, Uncle Opa will be able to afford a new top-hat.
I heard his old one was held together by nothing but duct tape and dirt.
Also, He was recently seen filling up empty cans of Fresca with tap water and later proclaiming that it was the best Fresca money could buy. Sad times.
I heard Uncle Opa was arrested for bathing in the JFSB fountain several weeks ago.
http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/60313
See "Disorderly Conduct", June 29th
So Uncle OPA was arrested on June 30th and taken to the mental ward...how'd he get out of that one?
I heard Uncle Opa tried to pawn the coin room coin collection.
I also heard that he tapped into the road-kill freezer for an easy meal.
Wow, it's funny you mention the fountain. The way I hear it, Uncle OPA was taking mexican showers in the float machine.
In other news, my sister-in-law said she saw a tattered pin-striped suit hanging from a clothes line strung between the satellite dishes on the roof of the SWKT the other day. Any ideas on the culprit?
Rich and Lane had arranged for Uncle OPA's escape from the mental ward. They took AP2 off-road up behind Seven Peaks and then signaled him by yelling, "Asa Rules! Asa 4-Ever!". He then dangled down his rope of knotted bedsheets, outran the dogs and guys with butterfly nets, and jumped in the back while Rich peeled out all over the place. You can still see the ruts in the grass if you care to go over there.
PUNCH IT!
Uncle OPA told me in confidence that just before the Provo Airport contract came through, he was going to try and get Holly to let him crash with her. It probably wouldn't have worked out though, because he's a big N'SYNC fan and also likes to read "City Weekly".
Its a little know fact, but have you ever wondered why Rich and Lane have a certain place for Dirty Steve in their hearts? Well, I have been holding this secret for too long and have to get it out, but I was told years ago that Dirty Steve is Uncle OPA. Its true. I know, its kinda strange, but it all fits together doesn't it? I mean, you never get a straight answer about where and why Dirty Steve became such an important icon at OPA. I guess the truth is nobody really wanted to admit the truth, but its time the world know that Dirty Steve and Uncle OPA are in fact one and the same. And if it werent for those darn kids and their dog, nobody would have ever known...
I heard that Marti recently made a move on our beloved uncle, and he refused her advances.
Maybe that's why she's leaving.
Word on the street is that Uncle Opa and Shane Baker started a gun running business out of Boise to pay the bills.
I hear their target market was archaeologists working in urban areas, and their slogan was
"Man, I wish I had brought my gun"
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