Professors we know or have known

I saw this list the other day whilst in the Blogosphere and thought that since we have been and will be dealing with various profs for the foreseeable future, that a quick reference guide would serve useful. It's a fun read. See if you can find your professors!

This is not the full version, I edited it for clarity and eliminated the various jokes about inappropriate professor-student relations.

Irritating Assistant Professors:

1. Professor Knows-He's-A-Fraud-And-Hopes-That-No-One-Will-Figure-It-Out,
2. Professor I'm-Above-This-Place-And-Should-Be-At-Harvard,
3. Professor Rebel-Without-A-Clue,
4. Professor Only-Teaches-His- Dissertation,
5. Professor Promising-Young-Man,
6. Professor Could-Teach-Well-But-Forced-To-Do-Submental-Things-To-Raise-Student-Evaluations.

Irritating Full Professors:

1. Professor Happy-Pills-And-Shock-Treatment-Improved-My-Personality
2. Professor Couldabeena-contenda,
3. Professor Exploits-Grad-Students-as-Cheap-Labor-in-his-Consulting-Business,
4. Professor I-Have-Five-Stories/Jokes-So-Get-Used-To-Hearing-Them-All-The-Time,
5. Professor I-Have-A-PhD-So-I-Shouldn't-Have-To-Learn-Anything-New-Ever-Again.
6. Professor I'm-THIS-Close-To-Retirement-So-I'm-Not-Even-Going-To-Try-Anymore
7. Professor Leave-Me-Alone-I'm-In-The-Middle-Of-A-Bitter-Divorce
8. Professor Midlife-Crisis
9. Professor Refuses-To-Retire-Due-To-Some-Combination-Of-Dementia-And-Never-Ending-Scheme- To-Maximize-Lucrative-Baby-Boomer-Retirement-Plan-No-Longer-Available-To-Younger-Faculty
10. Professor Tenure-Caused-My-Divorce,
11. Professor Twenty-Graduate-Students-Do-All-My-Research,
12. Professor Used-To-Be-Cool
13. Professor Uses-Tenure-To-Pursue-Hobbies-Or-Job-On-The-Side-Full-Time,

Irritating Professors That Could be Assistant or Full-

1. Professor Complains-About-Working-Conditions,
2. Professor Doesn't-Read
3. Professor European-Accent
4. Professor Everyone-Is-Out-To-Get-Me
5. Professor I-Could-and-Sometimes-Do-Recite-This-Lecture-in-my-Sleep,
6. Professor I-Have-Family-Drama
7. Professor I-Want-All-The-Students-To-Like-Me,-So-I'm-Going-To-Give-Easy-Tests
8. Professor Laughs-At-His-Own-Jokes,
9. Professor My-Jokes-Aren't-Funny-But-They're-All-I-Have,
10. Professor Only-Person-At-Tiny-College-To-Have-Ever-Published-A-Book-In-A-Printing-Of-More-Than-200,
11. Professor Oops-I-Lit-My-Hand-On-Fire
12. Professor Seriously-Tardy-With-Grading-Papers
13. Professor Stared-Into-The-Void-And-The-Void-Stared-Back!
14. Professor Your-Life-Means-Less-Than-My-Research
15. Professor Your-Work-Will-Never-Be-As-Important-As-Mine,
16. Professor Wears-The-Same-Ratty-Clothes-All-The-Time
17. Professor Who-Cares-What-The-Subject-Is?-Let's-Discuss-My-Politics